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"Hope and Love are powerful things and there is no way I would be standing before you today without it."
My name is Angel Munoz. I am an Army Veteran, who served during peacetime back in the 90's. Shortly after I was honorably discharged in 1998, three of my siblings joined the military. We did this with the hope of doing something bigger than ourselves. This is my story of tremendous loss and heartbreak for my family, and how we are overcoming through it all.Â
My brother Gilbert went to Iraq with the Marines in 2003. He is now living in Galveston with his beautiful family. Robert, the oldest of my brothers, went to Iraq with the Army in 2004. He was there just a few short weeks. After arriving he and seven others were killed in an ambush in Sadr City. Jeremy, the baby of my brothers, went to Iraq in 2008 with the Marines. In 2015, seven years after his return, he took his own life after a battle with PTSD and depression.
We could somehow reason with my eldest brother Robert's death. We had all signed that dotted line knowing that we could have all been called to make that sacrifice. It is what we were trained to do.
"There's nothing in our service training that could have prepared us to lose our baby brother, Jeremy, the way we did."
It sent my family reeling and grasping for ground to stand on. The wind was knocked right out of our lungs.Â
I personally, was sent on a crash course with my own demons. My struggle with PTSD, depression and anxiety had begun when I was just a small child. I am also a survivor of childhood abuse. I had felt like I had no worth for a long time.
In 2002, I was inches away from taking my own life. I had silently cried out to God to show himself. I begged God to stop me from doing what I was about to do. I cried out for proof that I had a purpose in this life. I truly believed my kids and family would be better off without me.
Seconds before I was to take the pills that were in my hand, there was a tiny knock at the door. The knock was from the tiny hand of my then five year old son. I yelled at him to go away, but he refused and said "no, Momma! I have something to tell you." He said "Jesus is here Momma, and he is with the baby and everything is going to be okay!"
I didn't understand at the time why God chose to save the likes of me, but I trusted him. Then tragedy struck my family with the death of my brothers. My mission became so incredibly clear. I was saved to share our story.
Around 2020, I finally committed to getting the help I needed. I began to follow the guidance of the doctors at the VA and I started going to equine therapy. Those horses at The Horse Center in Midland, Texas helped saved me.
I was at a good point in my recovery, when one of my very best friends and fellow veteran, Isaac, took his own life. I realized that I could no longer stay silent and it was time to finally share our story. Our story, though tragic at times, is a story of such an incredible love, sacrifice, hope and resilience. I thought their deaths would kill me and it almost did. I reached out for help and will continue to do so.
"What the enemy meant for evil, what was meant to knock us down, DIDN'T!!!"
We are still here, and we are still standing. With the hope that God has shown my family, we are able to finally share what it is that keeps us going. My brothers left a legacy of love and sacrifice. We wanted to find a way to honor my brothers, my friend, and others like them. The way we do that is to live and to spread the powerful message of love and hope.
If i leave you with something to process,
it's this 1 lie and these 4 truths:
The world will not be better without you! That's a lie!
It's OK to not be okay.
You matter!
The Light far outweighs the dark and if there is light the dark can never win.
If we can pass this along to everyone we know struggling, maybe we can save just one more. Even One Less lost to the darkness; how powerful that is.
Immediate Help is available; Know the 988 Veterans Line.